my beloved life
Thursday, May 17, 2007
hey, i know this is very odd, updating more frequently than I normally do. Just want to let this out here (no one reads anyway so it doesn't matter)
Why is it that kindness always does not result in good things coming your way? Why is it that kindness always gets nothing but sorrow in return? is it really that difficult to stay kind? is it that being kind means nothing?
I don't understand, people always say that 'be kind to others, and kindness will come back to you', why does it never happen? I do not expect any return for being kind, but not when people forget and return your kindness with absolute betrayal. I cannot just stand there and watch people suffer, I have to help, but what has it got me into? absolute crap! that's all.
Maybe, if I am unkind, then none of this will happen, maybe the world is unfair, and only those who are not kind will get away with things. Maybe only those who betray will survive.
Sitting here, in this empty, untidy and hollow room, in front of a computer typing this post away does not help much. I feel like my heart has stopped, and my life is about to end. The sorrow this time maybe too hard for my heart to bear. I may not able to pick myself again this time. The hole burnt may be too deep for me to climb back up.
Maybe, the hole will be there forever, left unfilled, til it rots. Maybe, the wound will swollen, and rot. Maybe, the pain will be there, forever there, never goes away. It does not matter anymore, I dont care anymore, I CANT care anymore, I dont have any energy left.....
4:46 PM
