my beloved life
Thursday, May 17, 2007
hey, i know this is very odd, updating more frequently than I normally do. Just want to let this out here (no one reads anyway so it doesn't matter)
Why is it that kindness always does not result in good things coming your way? Why is it that kindness always gets nothing but sorrow in return? is it really that difficult to stay kind? is it that being kind means nothing?
I don't understand, people always say that 'be kind to others, and kindness will come back to you', why does it never happen? I do not expect any return for being kind, but not when people forget and return your kindness with absolute betrayal. I cannot just stand there and watch people suffer, I have to help, but what has it got me into? absolute crap! that's all.
Maybe, if I am unkind, then none of this will happen, maybe the world is unfair, and only those who are not kind will get away with things. Maybe only those who betray will survive.
Sitting here, in this empty, untidy and hollow room, in front of a computer typing this post away does not help much. I feel like my heart has stopped, and my life is about to end. The sorrow this time maybe too hard for my heart to bear. I may not able to pick myself again this time. The hole burnt may be too deep for me to climb back up.
Maybe, the hole will be there forever, left unfilled, til it rots. Maybe, the wound will swollen, and rot. Maybe, the pain will be there, forever there, never goes away. It does not matter anymore, I dont care anymore, I CANT care anymore, I dont have any energy left.....
4:46 PM
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
hey! how long has it been? a month! no wonder even my chatterbox is not working =.=". i wonder who else actually still visits here. anyway, assignments and tests come and go (not all, most though), didn't really do much this past month anyway, besides 2 things.
First was easter camp. I have to say, I feel that I am kind of deprived from camp, so when I reach there, with all the campy feel, suddenly felt so familiar! anyway, easter camp was seriously fun, met lots of new friends, play alot of games as well as learnt many new things that I never knew before. The best part was when the games came, the group interacting and working as a team, really makes it extra special. It was sad to leave in the end, but we all made sure we will keep contact with each other. Although tiring, I really don't mind going for these camps again!
Second interesting thing that happened was Miss Saigon. I heard plenty of it from my parents (they watched it in Phuket AGES ago!), so I was quite excited about watching it. I also took this opportunity to actually wear my coat (=.="). Of course, I knew that I was going to be over dressed, especially since this is only a afternoon matinee, but who cares la, not like I have any other opportunities to wear also. Anyway, when I went into the theatre, I actually saw my cell leader from camp! we were sitting in the same row in fact, what a coincidence. It is rather amazing as I had not been able to keep in contact with any of my group members, probably because I gave them the wrong email address. So to actually meet her there is fantastic! Overall, Miss Saigon was not too bad, but somehow I don't feel like my thirst for theatre shows is satisfied. Hopefully when Phantom of the Opera comes out in July, it will be much better!
Til next post, see ya ppl!
9:34 PM
