my beloved life
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
hey, i don't think anyone is going to expec this random update here, but hey, can't just abandon it here right, so here goes..
things have picked up slightly from where I was the last post. today, I will talk about loneliness.
Loneliness, such a strong yet gentle word. a harsh yet soft word. Often defined as being alone, it has been said nowadays that you don't have to be alone to feel loneliness. You can be around a massive crowd and still feel loneliness. I'm sure all of you have been to parties, with plenty of people and plenty of booze, but deep in your heart you still feel loneliness. That's the sort of loneliness that is worst than being alone.
Have I driven people out of my life? Yes! Am I driving people out of my life? Maybe so. Technically, I have made myself lonely. Maybe its just my nature. Maybe its just something that I have to go through alone. Somehow or rather, sooner or later, I will always make myself alone. Maybe I don't want anyone to know the sufferings that I am going through. Maybe I don't want any pity from anyone at all. Maybe I don't want to hurt anyone. Back and forth, all I am talking about so far, is about building a wall between me and the world, but what really is happening, is I am concealing myself in an egg, from the world. I've lost friends. Friends that I should appreciate, but is now lost and I regret. But it is too late. Or that is what I think. Nothing more that I can do or say now. All is lost. Is friendship this fragile, that it couldn't stand the test of time? that it couldn't stand the test of perseverance? is it my attitude that caused all this to happen? maybe I just need someone to crack the egg and release me from it.
So, to all my friends out there, please appreciate ur friendships with others, and not be like me, regretting the could-haves and what-ifs of life.
4:48 PM
