my beloved life
Friday, November 12, 2010
Oh, blog, how long has it been. No one is here anymore. 11/11 today.. Haha I remember a friend of mine during high school who loves the number 11. Everyday (even night she says) at 11:11, she will make a wish. I wonder where she is now.. Thinking back at that brought back memories of the past, nostalgic and emo feelings comes lingering around me. Maybe it's because I had a really bad day at work, coupled by an empty house, creates a rather sad sight.
Only now, I realise how isolated I have become. How isolated I have chose to make myself. To put the real me into a case and hide it all from the world and put a happy face up front, is really tiring. Just awhile ago, everyone was talking about meeting up with this person from high school, that person from high school. And I realise, I had pushed all my friends from high school away, til I have none left. Well, of course, there is dom, pok and adam. But ya, you get what I mean. Jonathan, Joan, Ying Roe, Peng Tat, Jun Mun, Chin Ming... the list goes on. Where are they now? I don't know. What are they doing now? I dont know? Everything seems to end with "I dont know." nowadays.
Maybe its really just the bad day at work that caused me to be a little upset tonight. Maybe its just an accumulation of feelings that I have been going through lately. Or maybe it is just an accumulation of everything this year. The problem is, hiding myself away, means I have no one to turn to when there is a desperate need to cry out to. I admit, I am an emotional person. But who can I be emotional to? No one, but myself.. Guess that's just how its going to be now.
12:12 AM
